This Decadent Misuse

I don't necessarily think it's healthy or normal for a person to know how they want to die, and I don't really think a person should spend a lot of time, if any, thinking about that. That being said, I know exactly how I want to die. I've had this idea for many years now, but it was brought to my attention again the other night as I was eating some incredible chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream with Sarah. As I took a bite an orgasm of flavor exploded inside of my mouth and caused me to relate my glorious idea to her. She started laughing pretty hard and told me that I needed to write a blog about it. Since I do any and everything other people tell me to do, here it is. I love peanut butter so much, and I eat it by the spoonful. I probably have a spoonful every single morning with some banana as I'm waiting for my oats to cook. MMM yeah so good. And I love chocolate even more than that. My life would suck without them in it. Mix them together and I can't even describe the joy that I feel when that taste touches my tongue. I probably like it better than ketchup. Although, I can't smother all my foods in peanut butter and chocolate. Well, I guess I could, they just wouldn't bet edible. Oh but I could smother everything in peanut butter and ketchup! You know what that equals- peanut sauce.(missing brown sugar and some other stuff) You know what peanut sauce is used for- Thai food. You know what is one of my top favorite types of food-Thai food. (It's an ongoing battle between Indian and Thai always won by whichever one I happen to be eating at the moment. Oh crap, Mexican is incredible too. I love food) Nice. So basically, I want to die drowning in a vat of melted peanut butter and chocolate. Just imagine eating yourself sick while swimming in the heavenly mixture, passing out then succumbing to the ultimate death by chocolate...and peanut butter. MMM. Delicious. If at all possible I would like to make this happen. Not sure how, but if any of you reading this are around when I die (since we know when that will be!?) if you could aid in this happening that'd be great thanks.

So what the crap do you do when your "wife" gets engaged? Well, I guess it means I have to get a divorce, well a Facebook divorce. This blows. Because, you know, whatever Facebook says is super important to me...? But I guess I'm happy for her. OK I'm extremely happy for her. JANIE'S ENGAGED!!!!! She called me sometime after midnight a couple nights ago right after it happened and I couldn't be more excited for her! Although, I totally hate Quinston and his crap band. He's probably the worst guitar player I've ever heard, and seriously who plays the accordion?! Well, he does and he totally sucks at it. I was not happy when he asked me to divorce Janie so he could marry her. Ugh whatever. NUGGETS BLOW! Anyway I get to be the maid of honor! Rad. Considering we have been best friends since 13, I think it's only fitting that I am. What does a maid of honor even do? I HAVE to live with my Janie one more time before she gets married, and help her plan the wedding/throw her bridal showers or whatever. I think those are some of my duties as a maid of honor, right? Yah I'm pretty sure they are. It's going to be somewhat hard to do that from WA. Oh no, it looks like it just might be a UT summer (possibly longer) for me this year. Ugh life decisions, you are not my friend.

I Am Heaven Sent. Don't You Dare Forget

So, it's commonly known that I eat cereal for 2 0f the 3 meals basically every single day, but I do freaking love cooking. I just have a hard time cooking for myself. I love cooking for other people, it's a lot more fun. Plus I crave cereal all the time, and when I'm not eating it I want to be. So why deprive myself? I think I'm a pretty good cook. I mean I think it tastes good and that's really all that matters, right? I mean seriously have you ever had my Thai coconut curry soup? It's incredible. Remember when I made it for you guys Kelly? Ya amazing. And I personally think I make pho pretty much the same, if not better, than most places I've been. I mean I can obviously improve, but I'm pretty good. (not to be full of myself) Is it wrong that when I'm old and married and dumb that I totally want to be that wife that has dinner on the table every night when her husband gets home from work? And that I totally love cleaning and organizing? I submit that it is not. And I personally want to give a big sarcastic "Thanks a lot" to Susan B. Anthony and friends for starting the women's rights movement. What a joke. I know my place.

Song of the day: B.o.B. & Bruno Mars "Nothin On You" I hear a lot of rap/hip hop these days because Mitch just freakin loves it. I'm not into that much rap, though early 90's stuff is rad, but I heard this song and I freakin love it!! Plus it has the best line I have ever heard in a rap song: "You the whole package plus you pay your taxes" hilarious.

This week I have been forced to think about something that I haven't thought this intensely about in a long time. I have a paper to write for class, that's why I have to. Not that I don't think about it quite possibly everyday, but just not as in depth as this paper is forcing me to. It kind of gives me an interesting/sad feeling to have to do so, especially when I realized that today would have been her 23rd birthday if she were still alive. I'm reminded all to well of the worst phone call I have ever received in my life followed by me having to call each of our friends and repeat the news over and over again, wishing every time I said it that somehow it wasn't true and someone was just making a joke. The worst possible joke you could ever play on another human being. Then the rush of calls asking if it was really true, had Chelsea really died? Then the days of listening to "All That I've Got" and "One Sweet Day" more than any person should while crying myself to sleep and/or not sleeping. I could go on and tell about how messed up I was for like a year or so after this, but I'm not the type of person to focus on negative parts of life and this is not meant to be a depressing blog. Plus I have to describe those emotions enough in my paper and don't want to remember them much more than that. Needless to say, losing the best friend I ever had to a car accident was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and it completely sucked.

But, since I did realize it's her birthday today I wanted to relive some of the memories. If you knew her or were there, you should appreciate these, and if you didn't know her you still should. She was awesome.

I can't even tell you how many times we would laugh and laugh about the stupidest things. And her laugh, it was so hilarious! Just hearing her laugh always made me laugh so hard. On a lot of different occasions I remember laughing so hard to the point that I literally fell over and laid on the ground laughing. In my kitchen; in the front of OHS by the benches; in my front lawn one time; basically wherever. Oh good times. I could describe certain instances of why the laughter occurred but it probably wouldn't make sense to you. Also they aren't really that funny, they just made us laugh at the time for some reason.

We used to skip class all the time, once we had cars, in high school. Chelsea and I would usually get Starbucks and drive around or meet up with our drop out friends and do well, nothing. A lot of times we would just go back to my house and hang out in my mom's room (that's where the computer was) and listen to music and watch Homestar Runner or salad fingers and laugh. Some of my favorite high school memories for sure. We also were t.a.'s for the welding class our senior year and that was just hilarious. We would basically come in, correct a few papers, leave to go to smith's and get peanut butter m&m's (by far favorite candy), come back and flirt with boys til the bell rang.

After coming home from school Michelle, Marie, Chelsea and I used to sit in my front living room or around the kitchen table for hours talking about pointless things. We were all pretty obsessed with the Used at this point in our lives so the conversation usually ended up being about those boys and how much we loved whatever particular member we decided was going to be our boyfriend.

Chelsea was always the person that I would go to shows with. I still have yet to find someone that will go to shows with me as much as she did. We were at Starry Night and Muse or other venues (Reality Broken, Jam Shed....anyone?) almost every weekend, especially if Elliott's Assassin was playing. Oh Neil, good times. Miss the band. We also really loved Broke and went to all their shows that weren't 21 and older.

We spent so much time driving around and listening to music while dancing like idiots in the car. I remember one time Michelle, Chelsea and I were all driving to In the Venue to see the Used and we listened to Backstreet Boys and laughed and acted stupid the whole drive. She was always the one who drove, which is funny because she always got into car accidents. She only drove for 2 years of her life, but she went through 4 cars!! She crashed all of them. When she was late for school we used to joke that it was because she must have gotten into an accident. A lot of the times we were right too. It was funny.

There are so many other memories and hilarious stories, but they are better told in person. I miss all the good times we had in that group of best friends in high school, and I'm glad we basically all are still really good friends. Probably because we're rad. I can't believe that this November it will be 5 years since she passed away. I still wonder sometimes how I got through that and never got into drugs or drinking or something. Actually, it's one of the main reasons I ultimately started going to church again after not caring for so long. Weird, but truly everything happens for a reason and good comes from every situation. That's all for my serious side tonight. Good night and happy birthday Chelsea!